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“Ultraviolet” doesn’t shine so well… December 20, 2006

Posted by drowmage in Movie Reviews.

I’ve just finished watching “Ultraviolet”, and frack, it’s a stupid show. Sure, there’s impressive CGI, but for most parts it was so unfinished that it made “Cicakman” look like a shoo-in for the Oscars.

First off, the synopsis : “Ultraviolet” is set in a future where humans became infected with a highly contagious virus, called the human phague, which made them super-strong, super-fast, and super-regenerative (starting to sound like a broken record here), yet with a short life-span of 12 years from being infected. Because their teeth also grow to resemble fangs when they became infected, they were called ‘vampires’ and shunned by society.

Years later, most of them were wiped out by the virus or by the government’s “protection camps”, and we see Violet, played by Milla Jovovich, entering the government facility in order to intercept a case meant to be sent to a lab. When she is about to pass it to her colleague ‘vampires’, she opens it out of curiousity and finds out that it is a human boy (apparently in some dimensional stasis).

And she feels overwhelmed by the fact that they are about to kill a boy (since she lost her unborn child in the government labs), and goes ballistics, saving the boy, hoping that he held the cure to her survival.

The dialogue was so vague and ‘tarded. The plot was weak, and made little sense. Sure there was action, but there was nothing to make you believe that Violet’s actions were something that you needed to root for.

After a while, you begin to wonder just how many people can one woman face up against. In the first half and hour, the fight scenes are impressive. In the next half an hour, you get a feeling that it looks the same as the previous fights. And in the final part of the movie, you’d wish that they had planted a nuke in the building just so it would be over, darn it.

Milla Jovovich has acted in some impressive movies before, such as “Joan of Arc” and… well, er… “Joan of Arc”. Nothing else really comes to mind as she became the stereotypical female-video-game-action-hero in “Resident Evil” and “Resident Evil 2”, and wait! the soon to be released “Resident Evil 3”! In “Ultraviolet”, she delivers her lines without conviction, and makes you cringe with every cliche line that was delivered.

Come to think about it, she did pretty alright in “The Fifth Element” as Leeloo, but I refrain from saying anymore about the almost porno movie, “Return to the Blue Lagoon”, which was a sequel to the incest-like movie, “The Blue Lagoon” (starring the then 14-year-old Brooke Shields). Can you believe I saw these two movies on AXN Asia?

But I digress… back to the review.

The character Six, played by Cameron Bright, has the worst lines ever, saying things which would have definitely sounded more plausible if an older man were to say them. Pulling off his character with no conviction, you’d wish he had just kept quiet. I preferred it when he was portraying the character Leech, the mutant-neutralizer-boy in “X-Men 3”, who didn’t utter a single word and made Six look like a wooden shoe reading his lines.

The conclusion : “Ultraviolet” sunk lower than “Aeon Flux”. I begin to wish for the good old days where sci-fiction films revolved around movies like “Mad Max” and “Highlander”.

The Drowmage Rates this at : stars-1-5.gif



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